Fortunately, the sun came out right away and melted it. But the view brought to mind a poem I once wrote after a late snow.
After Late Snow
Blow up a wind,blow softly,blow up a soft wind,says Spring.Send a bloom,send ripening.Such seedling thoughts are groundedwhere they lie.The garden looks the other way,
adrift in sky.
I've been a little adrift, too, retooling the first 15-20 pages of Death Over Easy. After going over some two dozen earlier drafts, I decided that my first attempts were the best. They gave a better sense of who Emma Trace was and why she was on the brink of change. I had such a fear of overwriting and making the reader wait too long for action that I'd cut too much and flattened her. So I've been putting things back.
With the exception of the action scenes, which were much harder to write than I'd imagined, the rest of the revisions are straightforward. There are details I forgot to tie up (what happened to the letter?), a few impossibilities (a daring escape), and some inaccuracies (time of day, length of swim).
I still have diary entries to write. These will be painful because of the subject matter.
The ending needs to be filled out. A few more things―but not all―should be resolved by the turn of the last page.
And then I will be done (again). And then it goes to a few more readers, including a friend who's a retired homicide detective. And then―off to agents or publishers. I'm not sure which way to go yet.
Next week I will literally be adrift in sky as I head to California to visit my oldest daughter and her boyfriend. I get to spend a few lovely days inhaling the jasmine in Berkeley, watching the Afters do improv, getting my hair cut by my fave stylist, sightseeing, shopping at the Berkeley Bowl and Mrs. Dalloway's Bookshop, laughing, talking, and catching up on our lives. Hooray!
Go visit the fabulous Mary Lee over at A Year of Reading for the rest of the Poetry Friday roundup.
6 more days till
National Poetry
Month!
"After Late Snow" © Toby Speed 2011. All rights reserved.
14 comments:
Delightful poem, Toby! I could feel the soft breeze against my face. Too much snow here that the sun did not take away yesterday, so the softness of your poem was especially sweet. Thank you! Have a great time with V & her BF in CA. Jealous. The scent of Jasmine, Mrs.Dalloway's Bookstore, how they beckon.
Mmmm, jasmine in Berkley. I'm a bit envious. NOT envious of the snow though. As a Floridian it's hard for me to believe it's still snowing anywhere in the US. It's been hot down here for awhile.
Good luck with querying! :) I say if you have fav publishers you could picture loving your book go ahead and query them while you send to agents. Publishers take much longer to read MSs.
Beautiful poem. Enjoy your weekend!
Love the poem! "Adrift in sky"...ahhh!
We had a furious little hail storm that covered everything in a brief layer of white this week. It ALWAYS gets really cold again right when the forsythia blooms. How does it know to do that?!?!
we had a couple days of snow this week as well (including on the first day of spring), a snow that didn't stick, and my favorite comment @ it was "that's right, snow, you BETTER melt!"
ah, berkeley bowl, and for me it would be moe's books. old stomping grounds. enjoy!
Hope that was your last bit of snow and spring will saunter in (ever so gently).
Have fun in Berkeley -- sounds like you've got some great plans.
Enjoyed your poem, says one who has been adrift for most of her adult life.
Toby,
That is a lovely poem! Spring has had quite an inauspicious start around here. We didn't get the expected snow yesterday--but there WAS snow on the ground this morning when I awoke.
The photo and poem are beautiful!
Have a great time in CA. I'm in So Cal, and while it's raining right now, it should be beautiful by next week :D
Toby, I love the last four lines of the poem -- so beautiful. We are waiting for snow here in Maryland, despite the blooming daffodils and forsythia.
Clara, it's been chilly here again today, and despite sun, little mounds of snow are taunting me from the shady corners of the yard. Enough, already! Wishing you warm(er) sun and a soft breeze or two soon.
Karen, I'm envious -- please rush me a jar, extra large, of Florida warmth! About agents and publishers, I'm already leaning toward sending to publishers first. I have a few picked out who seem to like the sort of book I wrote, so, as you say, why not give them a try. The whole agent-finding thing I find daunting.
Mary Lee, the same thing happens here. The forsythia are definitely budding, and it's freezing outside. Now they're predicting some kind of wintry storm next week -- what gives?
David, so you've lived in Berkeley? What a special place, with so many wonderful book stores. I'll have to check out Moe's while I'm there.
Jama, I hope that was the last, too, and that what they're forecasting for next week is just an April Fool's joke. Here's to drifting into spring!
Elaine, one of our two local groundhogs predicted an early spring this year, the other didn't, and the weather has been all over the place. Wishing you warm weather soon in New England.
Julie, thanks. Yay, for beautiful California weather! I'm looking forward to it.
Thanks, Laura. I've missed seeing you around and am glad you're back!
Hi,Toby--
This poem has an intense feel of tentativity, which is just how it feels when you've had the taste of warmth but can't count on it yet.
Just as fascinating are your notes about Emma Trace revisions. I love hearing what's going on in a writer's head, and you are (even though I don't know about the letter or the length of swim) awfully good at breaking it down.
Thanks!
Hi, Toby. Beautiful photo (thought glad the snow melted) and beautiful poem. Have a great time in California next week, and enjoy the fragrant jasmine. I used to live in the Bay Area and miss it terribly sometimes. So beautiful there...
Toby I love that poem! You've brought out spring perfectly. We have really cold weather now but the cherrys are almost in bloom. I heard on the news that cold makes the blossoms last longer, so there's that.
Your persevering voice of gentle spring gives me hope, Toby! Thank you for this poem and too, for sharing your process. It's a treat to be peeking in on the revision journey with you. A.
Thanks, Heidi; your comment about my poem means a lot to me. About the novel, there's so much more going on in the revision process that I can't write about without revealing too much. I'm hoping the book is published and I WILL be able to talk about it someday.
Kerry, isn't it beautiful there? I can't wait to smell the flowers and see the lemon trees in people's front yards. :)
Andi, thank you. Oh yes, it's cherry blossom time! Those blossoms should hang on practically forever this year. Enjoy their beauty (I'm sure I'll see a haiku from you!)
Thanks, Amy. I hope you are seeing sprigs of flowers, melting snow, and other signs of spring out your way.
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